then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I have post one night stand depression
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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