I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
