our cab driver is having phone sex.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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