physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
