Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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