it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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