oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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