JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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