where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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