i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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