make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
