I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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