what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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