I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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