Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
