She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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