I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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