I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
