Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
