Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
