Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was confusing and full of hummus
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
