let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
