don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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