Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
