okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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