It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
