well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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