There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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