i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
