He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
