woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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