Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
