The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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