You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
