i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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