Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
