I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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