hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
