after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
