Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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