Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
