At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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