hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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