Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
