white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
love makes seman taste better
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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