So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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