please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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