tell your sister to shave her snatch
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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