Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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