you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
