perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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