i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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