i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I understand Curling. That high.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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