She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
