that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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