if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
