well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
