I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
