Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
