4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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