my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
