You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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