even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize