sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
